Stop hiding
"What on earth made me say I don't swim with idiots?"
From the movie Mr Nobody:
What's the cost of hiding our vulnerability?
Now I understand what Arnina once said:
Even if what you're hiding is a distortion of who you really are, is better to unreveal it.
It's better to say "I lied... because I was scared to admit this or that... " Than just lying and then shut up.
To stop hiding is the way to contact your true self, what you feel... To allow change.
We have so many way to lie.
Minimizing, with ourselves or in front of others.
"It's not that important". While maybe it matters to me, or to you.
Comparing... is another subtle way of hiding the impact on us. As we can't handle the strong emotion, the speciality, or the beauty of something, or of what someone else has done...then we say something like "Oh yes it reminds me of this actor, of that painting, also someone I know make the same xy like you"...
When you see that impulse, just pause if you can. And see what happens. Observe when it happens in others too.
I remember a video of Terry Real talking about this guy who was compulsively lying. After they found out that lying was his childhood strategy to escape a controlling mother, he was able to handle this conservation:
Wife: why you haven't bought the milk that was in the shopping list?
Husband: they run out of....(catching himself)... Sorry, I forgot.
The wife bursted into tears. She said she was waiting this moment for over 20yrs. The moment he wouldn't feel he had to hide.
Everyone is trying to manage their own emotion. That's where addictions originate, and the compulsion to lie too. They are strategies to manage emotions...by managing the external world, instead of the inner world. They're not "us".
So Arnina has a point there. Stop hiding is the entry way to who we really are, and probably the only way to truly get in relation with each other.
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